"Self Portrait Intestinus"

"Self Portrait Intestinus"
2017
Fabric, acrylic medium (matte), spackling, acrylic paint, resin, and various hand-stamped metals Dimensions: 30” x40”

I began this piece as a self-portrait to explore my transition from Soldier to Artist. I wanted to find a way to honestly express the doubts and fears about myself I needed to put to rest so I could emerge a fuller, more whole, person who lives in the present while letting go of the past. So, I hand stamped blank dog tags with questions that plague me, like “am I a burden?” and “did I let them down?” Embedded in the resin are hand stamped tokens with ‘labels’ I felt targeted with during my active duty time, like “whore” and “dyke” alongside “absent mother” and “friend.” My severed breasts, nakedness, and bindings of dog tag chain symbolize how I felt my femininity to be, at times, fractured by the uniform I wore.